Paris
or tbh a love letter to having the funniest sister in the world
I first went to Paris in January 2007 on a sixth form trip when I was sixteen years old, PEAK ‘unapologetically myself’ and by all accounts an absolute nightmare. The trip mostly flew by in a haze of ordering Long Island Iced Teas at Pizza Hut and gathering anecdotes to write up in my MySpace blog - with one big anchor event, which was my friend Dean proposing to me on the Eiffel Tower.
We had planned this proposal for MONTHS - fully to the knowledge of our teachers, who let it all happen as they knew better than to try and stop me and Dean doing anything in our endless pursuit for more attention. We procured a ring especially that morning at a market in Montmartre for €1.50. He proposed on the first floor of the tower and it didn’t get much of a reaction, so on the second floor we tried again - and finally got what we wanted: the applause of American tourists (although unfortunately, no free champagne).
It’s been nearly 18 years since January 2007 (!) and I can confirm that Dean and I never did get married (although did get engaged on multiple further occasions in the late 00s in other attempts to get attention). I’d been to Paris a couple more times since but crucially: never when I’ve had ANY money. So when a twist of fate meant that I was in France last week, I invited my sister to spend the weekend with me in Paris with one mission and one mission alone: VIBES. And as I randomly accrued some new subscribers last week and I’m desperately trying to cling onto some sort of reason to keep this Substack going - why not write a list of some stuff we did?!?!
Exited the low maintenance era
I’ve in general been way more low key since returning from Bali, meeting up with friends on multiple occasions in a hoodie without even putting make up on (!), and getting my post-run ready-for-office routine down to 35 minutes (!). However I basically decided to do this weekend in Paris drag: I hugely overpacked, planned every outfit within an inch of its life, overdressed constantly, wore a second hand designer occasion dress I got from Vinted to a casual dinner, continuously had red lipstick on, had an immaculate manicure, and most crucially of all, experienced everything wearing my new faux fur coat (aka my new personality). And do you know what? I love being a bit more chilled post Bali, but I ALSO love swanning around in the sort of aesthetic that my 2007 counterpart would be proud of (although she’d be disappointed I’m no longer attempting to accessorise with a Vogue cigarette). Life’s about balance!
This was meant to be giving Carrie Bradshaw but not sure if it’s more ‘four year old in her favourite party dress tries on her nan’s coat’
Yap yap yapped
I’ve had many great loves in my life but there’s only one that I met on the day they were born, who is Megan, my sister. Megan and I have a pretty big age gap (five years!) which has hugely defined both of our personalities, except for the fact she’s the one with a new build house, dog and airfryer cookbook and I’m the one trying to cajole her into getting Primavera tickets. Still though - different as we’ve always been in many ways - she is an incredible person to go on holiday with, mostly as we will both talk about the same inane crap for hours, both love a glass of champers and both get bored by the same things so we never have to pretend we’re enjoying stuff we’re not. Bliss.
Went to La Galerie Dior
The palm reader in Bali told me I needed to prioritise art in my life, which is not easy for me as I am a famous art hater and get bored and throw tantrums in all museums (ask my friend Daniel about when we went to MoMA). BUT Megan and I do love extravagant dresses, so we got an absolute kick out of La Galerie Dior! We were both almost moved to tears on several occasions, although my favourite bit was when we sat for ages in a room decorated like the Sistine Chapel with 25 dresses in it playing the following game:
‘So which of these would you wear to be maid of honour at my wedding?’
‘So which of these would you wear if you were going to the Oscars as Tom Hardy’s date but it’s not looking like it’s going to work out so this will probably be your one and only opportunity to go?’
‘So which of these would you wear if you were going to the Oscars as an established actress who ALWAYS makes the Daily Mail best dressed and this year you weren’t nominated?’
‘Which of these would you wear to a renaissance fair?’
ETC.
Got super lost on a long run
I’m training for London Marathon (CLUNK!!!!) and even though I’m only three weeks in it’s already defining my life and I can’t remember what it’s like to have a day and not exercise. Anyway, I’ve really upped the ante with running in 2024 (will not make the obvious ‘away from problems’ joke) but have been running relatively consistently since 2020 - and it’s only since June I’ve started actually running when I’m on holiday. And it’s lush! Super interesting, and such a good way to sense the vibe of a new place - so if running is something you do at home, I’d recommend it on holiday. SAYING THAT, I had to do a 11k run over the weekend, got totally lost, ended up in the complete wrong place miles from the hotel, then was an hour late back as I could not get an Uber as ironically, all of the traffic was shut due to an organised 10k road race, which I then had to join for 600 metres as it was my only route to the metro station.
Went to cabaret
On the first night Megan and I went to see the midnight show of Crazy Horse cabaret - I’m not sure what I expected, but it wasn’t that. Megan had four words to describe it as we left, and if anyone can guess those words, they win a prize.
Stayed somewhere average and had loads of average meals
There’s loads of amazing places to eat in Paris, of course - but I can’t tell you any of them, because everywhere we went was either very overpriced, terrible service or mediocre food at best! I’ve also not stayed somewhere that so much resembled a prison cell since I lived in university halls in London as someone with no family money. Still though it was an absolute TESTAMENT to the pure vibes of spending a weekend in Paris bumbling about being ridiculous with one of my favourite people on the planet, that I honestly didn’t care - and Megan, honestly, for 2 nights overseas talking nonsense with you, I’d stay anywhere and spend the whole time at McDonalds. And I think I’ve known that since the day you were born.
Au revoir for now - no abroad travel currently booked but my big Canada trip getting locked in soon (!!!), ‘Owlfest’ is coming up (!!!), I’m still thinking about my next solo adventure (!!!) and I have plenty of half drafted stuff on my iPhone notes that doesn’t really fit the brief of this substack that MAYBE ONE DAY I’LL HAVE TIME AND ENERGY TO FINISH AND POST HERE ANYWAY(!!!). So I’ll be back! Xx
Your post came up on my notes feed and I have subscribed because I immediately feel like this a blog that would have existed back in the 2010s and I am SO here for it! Love the way you write!